Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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