Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
