Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
