I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
