I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
