What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
