bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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