I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
