Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
