Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
