I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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