I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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