Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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