you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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