Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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