As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
