Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
