But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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