I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think my tv is drunk
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
