He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
