Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
