brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
actually, I'm a sock model
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
