Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
