I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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