listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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