Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
