she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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