Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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