my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
