I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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