I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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