Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
