whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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