Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
