The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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