It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
