I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
