I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
