When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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