So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
