Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
