Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
