Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
why is half of my head shaved?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
