Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
