I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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