I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
