my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I love you.
Bad choice
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