i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
