Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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