Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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