Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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