shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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