How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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