I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
