you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my phone needs a breathalizer
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
